2014 - The year of contemplation and self analysis

I saw what Facebook did with 'my year' and I just felt it didn't do my year any justice at all.

This year has been one of the most interesting years of my life. For those of you who know me well, you know that I smile in the face of defeat, you know I can withstand the weathering affects of daily struggles and I have the heart to keep trying when most might give up.

I have spent a lot of time out of work, planning my business and trying to figure out where I want to be. The self analysis phase is common for me when I am not happy with something. This year I took a complete sidestep tried something new, even considered moving to Australia with a girl I'd not long met. These were most likely desperate acts to escape, but things turned out the way they were meant to in the end. The job I took in tele-sales really wasn't my cup of tea. Body language is a key ingredient to proper sales, and that lack of human connection was like someone sending me into a boxing match with an arm tied behind my back. It wasn't true sales, it was just luck of the draw, a game of numbers.

So after I left I went on to the idea of setting up my own business. I lived alone so there was no safety net except the earnings from my previous job, which were limited at best. I found a business management course that came with financial support. So instead of using Job Seekers Allowance benefits, I took advantage of this opportunity to learn and potentially move in the right direction!

I spent the summer outdoors with no worries at all, my life was being covered by the financial support while I was on the course for one day per week. It was probably the most refreshing break I have ever had in my entire life. Months of no responsibility or worries. It was just what I needed so I could finally give my mind the time to analyse everything.

I came to the conclusion that I would not find a job that pays enough basic to cover my lifestyle so I should forge my own destiny.

Just as I finished the course and I was beginning to set up my own business, I got a phone call from B&Q recruitment.

I passed all the interviews with flying colours and I am now a design consultant (again) for B&Q. The last time I worked for B&Q as a consultant was in Jersey and it was the greatest job I EVER had. There is a long story about a girl that almost took everything that made me who I was away from me, forcing my decision to leave Jersey behind and start again. It wasn't a mistake, it was a lesson. I have learned a lot from my history and I will continue to learn and adapt until I die. Change is good, and change is the way of the world. if you can't change with it you just fall behind.

So anyway, this sudden barrage of good fortune lifted my spirits to a new level. I have never been happier. Being head hunted in this day and age, not even looking for a job and someone comes to find you?
It's the best gesture I could have hoped for. I feel needed in my job, I feel important. I feel like what I do makes a difference. Most importantly, I am truly happy.

I didn't reach many of my goals or even consider them, simply because I went with the direction of the winds of destiny. I didn't fight it, nor did I want to. This year was a year of letting go, and allowing change to have it's place in my life.

The grass is never greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you nurture and water it.

A special thank you to the people who supported my decisions and trusted my judgement.

Thanks to my family for always being there, all of my uncles who have been like brothers the whole way.

My Nan! With her heart of pure gold no one could ever speak a bad word about her (Except 'Big nose' and 'Nanny Nut'). She has always been there like a second mother.

Thanks to my Grandad who has been more like a father to me my whole life. He is the man I always looked up to the most. Even if he is crazy!

My mum who is the most caring and amazing person on the planet. My mum is a treasure and has always picked me up and supported me even when she might not agree with my decision!

My brother, always a best friend and a proper legendary muppet. Love him more than he knows! Even though he is seven years younger than me he is a massive inspiration to me and my life. He talks proper crap though don't listen to a word he says! ;)

I could keep going forever with my family as it's sooooo big and we are all close, even though we are spread around the world.

I'll say thank you to all my friends no matter how often I see you.
This year I made new friends that aren't so close but... these people helped me without even knowing it, whether it be a chat that I really needed or something to get off my chest, or whatever it might have been. So here's a mixed list of all the people that I feel helped make my year what it was!

• Gareth Bathgate
• John Liot
• Simon Webster
• Michael Greenslade
• Claudia Neil
• Elena Jones
• Rachael Miller
• Samantha Richards
• Ian Cropper
• Gary Bagley
• Anna Macdonald
• Danielle Brady
• Rob Parry
• Tilly Parry
• Andy Lampkin
• Amy Jones
• Anita Nielson
• LJ Davidson-Smith
• Megan Roberts
• Netty Doyle
• Joe Hornagold
• Liz Gibson
• Jay Fitzgerald
• Gemma Edge
• Sue Parry
• Sarah Louise Smith
• Jamie Head
• Mark Sumner
• Wait... pretty much all the roller derby people ha! (so if your name isn't here just count yourself in if you think you should be here! :P)
• My Roll20 group (Ade, Jase, Russ, Marc, Steve, Gareth)

You're all legends of 2014 - so thanks again.

Opinions, Perspective and Conclusions

Everything you see and the way you see it is just information that has been passed to you through your own perspective.

If I write the singular word ‘Asses’ in a message to you, what would you think?

I want you to open your mind and think about it and all the possibilities that  single word could mean.

Perspective 1

An easy interpretation, due to the perspectives of most individuals, would be that I meant I am in fact pissed off at a particular group of people. Perhaps I am calling them all asses and I will elaborate on the subject in my next message or later on in person. Your response might be, “Who are asses? Are you ok?” or if you have seen me rant about asses before you might think..”Not this again…”

Perspective 2

Asses, so, he means he is looking at pictures of hot girls on the internet. Particularly women with nice asses? Your response might be, “What???? Why are you telling me this?!”

Perspective 3

That could have been a typo, perhaps he meant to say assess. Assess what? Did you mean you were going to assess something?

Perspective 4

Is he talking about the animal? Has he just come across some wild asses?

The way you respond has everything to do with the information you have collated throughout your own experiences. What knowledge you have gained about me and what you think you know about me before I say that single word will affect your apparent conclusion. For example, perhaps you didn’t know I was in Africa, so you most certainly wouldn't have picked perspective 4 as a conclusion. But let’s say I was. Your conclusion would be wrong. In just a few moments you have misjudged a simple situation because you didn't have all of the relevant information to come up with an accurate conclusion.

My point is that there are many ways of looking at the same thing no matter how simple it may seem. Just one word that gets misinterpreted can change the conclusion your mind might try and establish. Once it becomes established in your mind, your emotion might have trouble letting go. Be it stubbornness, hurt, hope or anything like that. Try not to let those feelings take hold too much, even if you think you are sure of your conclusion.

Now apply this thought process to more complicated situations involving emotions and multiple personalities, for example a group of people arguing about violent video games. It makes it almost impossible to collate enough information to truly know enough to come up with conclusions; because everyone is looking from a different perspective according to the things they have heard, seen, read or experienced.
If we don’t try to understand more than one perspective we can never truly be open minded. If you close off your mind because you allow your own personal perspective or opinion of disagreement to be too strong, then you lose the opportunity to understand and gain knowledge and experience.

Don’t close people off because your perspective is different. Once you have tried to understand someone you previously didn't like, you could realise that they were in the right all along or that you actually just misunderstood them before. So don’t limit yourself, and learn to understand.

A Leap of Faith

30 years of living in other people's shadows and today I finally decide to cast my own.

Taking a leap of faith in yourself to set up your own business that could make or break you is a big ordeal. Especially when you don't feel like you have money to back you or a safety net to catch you if you don't succeed.

I have come to the conclusion that I HATE being drip fed a wage like a hatchling, squealing with it's mouth wide open, desperate for another worm. The daily grind is rotting my mind. It's time I grew into a creature bold enough to jump from the nest in a life or death fashion. Take the leap of faith and make something my own.

I have so many things I want to do before I am 40 years old. So, I am setting myself the challenge of a lifetime. Success isn't becoming the robot your employers want you to be, conforming to their ways so they can make money from you efficiently. Success is not kissing your bosses ass or becoming a jobs-worth to get a 20 pence per hour pay rise. Success is when you can honestly say you are proud of your life, when you can say you are reaching your full potential as a human being.

These are the challenges I am setting myself. These are the things I will achieve in the next 10 years:

1. Set up my own business
2. Get at least one of my books finished and published
3. Get back in to the ring/cage and win some MMA fights.
4. Buy my own home.
5. Be awesome at Roller Derby.

So, for anyone who is feeling down in the dumps, I just want to say I have been there for a few years and this is me picking myself up and making a go at something. Don't just go home and watch TV, learn a new skill, take an interest in something. If it's art right down to learning a new language... the time we have is our own. 

Here's a little clip from the awesome film Fight Club to remind us what really matters and what doesn't!

"I AM GOING TO LIVE...

...OR I WILL DIE TRYING!" 

David Pearson